Arguing with your partner is a common occurrence. It can feel like there’s no way to get through to the other person and that you’re just wasting your breath. In an effort not to get too ahead of ourselves, here are some useful tips for people who find themselves in this scenario- from letting your partner have the last word, to be more sensitive and understanding of their feelings.
Arguing with one’s partner is something many couples do on occasion- either because they disagree about something or because it’s just how they show affection. But regardless of why you argue, it usually feels like there’s no way to get through to the other person and that you’re just wasting your breath. Here are some tips that you can use the next time you’re in an argument with your significant other.
1 – Figure Out What Is Causing Your Argument?
When arguing with someone, an important thing to do is figure out what exactly it is that you’re arguing about. Consider going to couples therapy in order to get to the root cause of the issue. If your partner says something and you feel deeply offended by it, maybe you should take a moment to yourself and think about why. If your partner says something that’s obviously offensive, you might not need to do the same, but it’s still important to figure out what caused your reaction. If you can pinpoint why you’re feeling that way that’s great, but if you can’t then it might be a good idea to talk about it with your partner.
2 – Try Letting Them Have The Last Word
One of the most common problems that happen in arguments is that both people just keep talking even after they’ve said everything they wanted to say. This can make you seem even angrier and more stubborn than before, especially if the other person is convinced that they’re right and you’re wrong. So how can we fix this? It depends on the situation. You might not want to let them have the last word in every situation, but if you’re in a heated argument and your partner is unhappy with you then it might be a good idea.
3 – Stop Getting Defensive
This is something that happens to everyone- you’re arguing, they criticize you, and suddenly you’re defensive. Maybe your partner has criticized you before and it’s led to an even worse argument than the one before. If this sounds familiar, then you need to stop getting defensive when they criticize you. It’s important to listen to their concerns and understand where they’re coming from, not defend yourself or your actions.
4 – Be More Understanding Of Their Feelings
In order to be able to change the way you look at things, you need to understand where they’re coming from. If you understand that they’re hurt by something you said, you might not be as dismissive of it next time. This can make them feel like you really care about them and what they’re feeling, which will make both of you happy!
5 – Separate What You Disagree On From What You Dislike
You could argue over something for hours, only to find out that what the other person is saying makes sense. This can be a great opportunity to find something you agree on with your partner, but it can be hard if you’re already feeling frustrated. If this happens, try to think about what they’re saying as separate from how you feel about it. If you can’t, don’t pressure yourself- it might not be the right time to do this.
6 – Respect Their Needs As Well
There is no need to search for a song for a broken heart and wallow in anguish. With a bit of work, any relationship can not only be mended but could come out stronger and better. It’s important to respect your partner’s feelings, but it might be even more important to respect their needs. If their need is different than yours, it might be difficult- but not impossible. You might have to shift your focus from what you need to what they do, but it could be worth it.
Arguing with your partner is a common occurrence, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. There are many tips and tricks you can use when arguing that may help make things go smoother in the future. Disagreeing with your partner is something that many couples do on occasion, either because they disagree about something or because it’s just how they show affection. But regardless of why you argue, it usually feels like there isn’t a way to get through to the other person and that you’re just wasting your breath. These tips will help keep things from getting too heated and can even help you understand where they’re coming from.