Whether you’ve always been a plus-sized woman or you’ve identified as a BBW in your more recent years, maintaining a strong sense of self-esteem can be challenging. This is true for anyone, but it’s especially true for plus-sized women who are often on the receiving end of rude and disrespectful comments.
If self-esteem is something you struggle with while looking for a date, then this article is for you: here’s how to say goodbye to haters and love yourself unconditionally!
One of the things often repeated in the self-help communities is the Serenity Prayer: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. This is the perfect mindset for facing reality.
Unfortunately, there will always be people who are rude or mean to you for no reason (regardless of what you wear, how you look, or what you do), and there’s nothing you can do to change this. However, you can make THEM look bad by treating them as you’d like to be treated yourself.
As a free woman, you are also free to leave whenever, so don’t waste time fighting battles with people who refuse to be civil. The tactic of ignoring or blocking a person is also useful when contacting online so that an unpleasant person will be left alone with their negativity and you will just move on.
It might be tempting to cuss someone out when they’re being rude, but (if possible) it’s always better to make them look bad by “outshining” them instead.
Expand Your Partner Options
While going out to a night of wild clubbing and bar-hopping to find a one-night stand can be fun, don’t forget that there are many other ways to find a man! Traditional dating sites are usually friendly to plus-sized women, and there are even dedicated plus-sized dating communities and well-reviewed BBW hookup sites for singles looking for spicy relationships.
However, never allow yourself to be held back. If there’s a site, service, past-time, or hobby you want to try, go for it! Getting out “in the real world” is often the best way to meet partners.
Keep Your “Friend-Space” A Positive Space
Friends can provide moral support when you’re feeling down, but they can also be toxic (sometimes without even meaning to be!). You should try to surround yourself with primarily positive people, which will help keep your self-esteem at a healthy level.
However, it’s always good to have that one friend who just “tells you how it is.” This helps you avoid the pitfalls of falling into false securities (and negative outcomes). While there’s nothing wrong with being a BBW, if your health is legitimately declining, you should have at least one friend who you can rely on to give it to you straight.
Come Up With Your Own Identity
Many women identify as “BBW,” but you shouldn’t let this become your entire identity. You’re a unique person filled with dreams, desires, passion, and goals. Don’t just be “the big and beautiful woman.” Instead, be the “BBW who *blank*.” This *blank* could be anything from “loves animals” or “majors in fashion” to “is eco-friendly” or “cares of LGBT rights.”
Only you can define yourself, so make sure you’re unique! Not only will this help with your self-esteem, but it will also help you attract like-minded men who want an impassioned partner in their life. Highlighting who you really are in your online dating profile is just a small first step towards the relationship you desire.
Never Neglect Self-Care
“Self-care” goes beyond physical health; mental wellbeing plays a big part as well! You can help maintain your mental health by doing things as simple as taking a bath, going on a walk, or simply watching an episode of your favourite TV show. It can be very easy to get stressed out when you’re doing things online, so a good way to relieve yourself of some of this stress is by “taking a break” from the net.
Determine Your “Perfect Partner”
Men of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and backgrounds find BBW women attractive, so never let your potential dating partners be limited by your physical appearance! Instead, approach the dating world full of confidence and go after your “perfect partner.”
While you probably won’t get him on the first try, this is true for most women regardless of how they look. Use every method available to you – from blind dates hosted by friends to dating sites. The important thing is to keep trying: the right guy will show up at the right time!
Know Your Own Worth
You define your own worth, not other people. Often, when people make fun of other people, it’s not because they truly believe they are better than them; it’s because their own self-esteem is lacking. Ignore the haters, live for yourself, and do whatever makes you happy. You’re responsible for your own happiness, so don’t let life just pass you by: live it to the fullest!
While maintaining a confident composure isn’t always easy, it’s something that is unique to the human experience. There are healthy ways to deal with self-esteem and negative ways to deal with them. Avoid things like alcohol or drugs during dating and searching for a partner; these may temporarily “fix” the problems but are likely to bring them back ten-fold.
Instead, set up a daily routine of activities you enjoy, surround yourself with supportive friends, and never stop believing in the power of true love to find a perfect dating partner!