While we may not like to admit it, how we look has a big impact on our self-esteem. It has a major impact on the value we place on ourselves and the confidence we have in our daily lives. Physical appearance and self-esteem can be deep-rooted, especially for those people who experienced taunting or bullying as a child.
We always have to remember that it says more about them than it does about us, but it can still undermine our confidence if we experience people acting like this, even if they are displaying signs of unconscious bias. Those aunts or grandmothers that tell us we “look a little chubby” can be a little comment that will hurt your feelings. But this is why we need to understand that our look, in conjunction with our self-esteem, can make a big difference in ensuring that we stay strong in mindset and style. What are the things we all need to consider?
Dress for the Life You Want, Not the Life You Have
We may not realise it, but we can all feel that we’ve got to conform or confine ourselves to certain rules. If we dare to be different, we can worry that someone will pull us up on it. However, we have got to understand that we only have one life to lead, so we’ve got to look the way we want, not how others think we should! It’s easy enough for you to start embodying style so you can change your mindset. It all begins with trusting your instincts! If you can find amazing casual dresses that you love, why shouldn’t you go for them?
How we dress on the outside can feed into how we feel on the inside. This is why so many people spend a lot of time on their makeup, as it gives them that little lift that will see them through the day. If you are someone that doesn’t think you look good enough, it’s amazing what a little bit more time in front of the mirror can do for your frame of mind!
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
One of the biggest problems with having access to so many Instagram accounts is that we think people look perfect and we think we don’t! We’ve got to break down those barriers. Nobody looks perfect and nobody is perfect! We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and rather focus on being the person that we are.
It has been said to death, but the important thing is to come round to the idea that actually we are our own person so we’ve got to please ourselves and no one else! As much as we can be envious of someone on social media because they look a certain way, we’ve got to take ownership of ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with taking inspiration from their style, especially if there’s something about them you like, but you’ve got to remember that you can’t be that person, but you can be yourself! When we try to be more like someone else, this is going to affect our self-esteem because we think they are better than us.
Everybody is different, not just in appearance, but in talents, skills, and achievements. Recognise your own qualities and build on them. If there are things that you want to be and someone you admire is embodying that trait, learn to be it on your terms!
The Danger of Thinking You Will Never Be Accepted
When we try to change how we look and how we feel, if we worry about how we look, it’s going to make us feel like we’re not valued by other people. We live in a world where so much value is placed on appearance, but we’ve got to remember that it’s the value of relationships that is more important because they are based on more. Because when you start to think about the relationships you have and think about what it is you love about the people in your lives, is it really to do with how they look? Because if it is, you may want to do some solid revaluation.
The fact is that when we value someone’s personality or sense of humour, these are the real foundations for what makes us feel great about ourselves. We can fixate on insecurity about looks but this is why having a great support network in place will help. Additionally, think about the things that make you happy or fulfilled. If it really is having an impact on you, you need to speak to someone. When we feel so bad about ourselves that it impacts our mental health, we need to speak to the people that will provide a sympathetic ear.
How You Can Change Your Mindset
Mindset is vital, and while how we look can provide subtle foundations to improving how we feel about ourselves in the short term, it’s all about ensuring that we are practising feeling great about ourselves, which means learning to change our mindset over time. There are a number of great practices that you can use, including:
- Focusing on your long-term vision. When you think about the big picture, it stops you from focusing on the smaller things. We can learn to live in the moment rather than worrying about the past or about the future. This can take a lot of work, but there are some amazing resources out there to help you.
- Retraining your brain by noticing more positive things. Practising gratitude or using cognitive behavioural therapy can help with a more positive outlook.
- Learning to meditate or relax. When we start to burrow deep into the reasons why we think what we think, this is when we start to become more aware of what is mere window dressing on our conscience.
Learning how to relax and stop worrying shows us that we don’t view ourselves so negatively. Accepting yourself is a very difficult thing to do, but it can make a massive difference to how you perceive yourself, which goes beyond merely how you look.