Love is a desire every human being craves, and it finds expression in romantic relationships, which is why break-ups are usually difficult. Very many people after a breakup go through a phase where they consider if getting back with their ex is a good idea.
Thoughts like “whether you made the right decision to break up with them or if you should reach out to them?” would ravage your mind. But understand that you’re not the only one having such thoughts. A survey by the Associated Press reported that 41% of the people who took their survey got back together with their ex.
Truthfully speaking, whether you should get your ex back or not is a personal decision. No one should tell you, yes, you should or no, you shouldn’t because it is your life. Any decision you take, you alone would live with it, not the person who told you what to do.
You would, however, be equipped in this article with the right tools to make the right choice when faced with such a situation.
1. Find Out How Your Loved Ones Feel About Them
Like it or not, the people who have your back and love you would have a pretty strong opinion about your ex. It doesn’t matter who broke up or got dumped, your loved ones are going to be willing to share their thoughts about them and whether you both should get back together.
At this stage, your friends and families are likely going to be a better judge of character than you are. If there are qualities or characters your ex exhibits that may be easier for you to overlook, they can point it out to you and show ways you’ve changed while the relationship lasted.
It would be hard hearing their negative reports about your ex but try as hard as you can to avoid getting defensive. Your support network is more or less filled with people who want what’s best for you, so while you might not like their comments, don’t take them for granted.
2. Understand Why You Both Broke Up
What led to the breakup of your last relationship? Was it a result of an argument or some misunderstanding? Could it even be because of something more serious, maybe like emotional/physical abuse or infidelity?
If your relationship ended, it was probably for a reason. They might not have told you what exactly happened. It could be that they no longer feel the same way they used to anymore. The love is gone and there’s just no point arguing all the time.
You need to try and understand why there was a breakup in the first place if you are considering getting back together with your ex. What happened that they no longer love you? That is a question you should try and answer. Knowing the answer is pivotal to whether or not getting back together is a good idea. Keep in mind that the real reason for the split may not always be apparent to us immediately, but would become clearer in due time.
3. Why Do You Want Them Back?
There’s every possibility that your ex knows you all too well. You both know the likes and dislikes of each other. People with that level of intimacy and closeness are very likely to miss one another.
Losing that kind of relationship would definitely make you feel terrible and like you’re going down an emotional slope. There are days when you’d be fine and other days not so much. Such days would have you wishing you could get them back at the snap of your finger. You’d be willing to do anything to make those bad emotions go away.
You have to be certain that you’re not desperate or settling to avoid being alone when considering getting back together. Take note if there are clear signs your ex is pretending to be over you. But, ensure that you do not reach out to them out of hopelessness because you feel being with someone is better than having nobody. That thought is a terrible mistake.
4. Did They Add More Value To You?
It would be difficult to answer this when you are feeling sad and all alone. But you need to be honest with yourself and find out if they added or subtracted value to you when the relationship was still on. Don’t allow your emotions to cloud your judgment when answering this question.
While they were in your life, did your ex improve or damage your life? You know the relationship is right when both of you are committed to improving and bringing out the best in you.
There is no clear-cut answer on whether you should or shouldn’t get back together with them. Just don’t reach out because of loneliness, and be sure to be aware of why there was a breakup in the first place.